im a fool

i crave you
but like your cherry tobacco
i worry that your scent
is much more alluring than your taste
& you alone make my insides quiver
with this fascinating need
just to be touched by you
to be wanted by you
that i find myself doing stupid things
just to see if i can make you jealous
is it obvious?
for all my loathing of you
i have fallen in love
even when you say it clearly
that you love and want and need me
i question you
why am i always fighting it
fighting you
fighting us
maybe what i fear most of all
is being so content
that i no longer have to search
and that life will then be a bore
without the adventure
the chase
the thrill
of craving you