insanity

and she knows that she is wrong
each time she questions him
but like the melody of a song
she grasps it on a whim
because a fear will plague her
no matter what he said
and his answer seem so vague to her
they tug upon her dread
paranoia clings to her lashes
like a child to his teddy
and everytime this pain relapses
she swears that she wasn't ready

shes not a clown shes not a clown
she cries hot tears in which she drowns
all for the love of a wisp of air
all for the hope that he'll meet her there

and she knows that she is wrong
each time she holds her breath
hoping that he'll go along
and follow her to death
yet when he puts her in her place
and tells her that he is right
its nearly as warm as an embrace
with words, he holds her tight
because inside shes come to know
that she does not deserve
a man so patient, without woe
and fears his love may swerve
toward a better fitted match
a beauty beyond compare
and her heart, she cannot patch
no, she cannot repair

shes not a doll shes not a doll
shes dug the hole in which she falls
because her love is so robust
because she fears her hope is dust

and she knows that she is wrong
each time she sheds a tear
for his arms are where she belongs
she longs to be held near
yet the distance seems to grow
each moment she does wait
the moments tick tick tick so slow
they cause her to debate
why does this man take his time
to make his way to her
'he promised to be only mine
to make me feel secure'
but she waits, he does not come
and alone she starts to cry
beating her head like a drum
asking, why why why

shes not a doll, shes not a clown
her world is spinning upside down
because her lover stays away
and haunts her night and taunts her day.

paranoia

like a bird without a song
everything just feels all wrong
and i just cant seem to find
all those things you claimed were mine
if i could look into your eyes and see
that you were real and you loved me
i know that i would then feel safe
and know that i was not replaced
so far away, the distance grows
i wait, but for how long, who knows
i try to trust and not to break
to never think your love is fake
but my mind, time after time
puts me in this awful bind
a fool i never wish to be
so never make one out of me
just be true and never lie
tell the truth and justify
when i ask you something rare
answer me and love me bare
because you know that im afraid
while i wait, you're getting laid
silly as you seem to say
i fear this each and every day
so hold me tight and whisper clear
only you, forever dear.